As time goes by if we continue to explore our lives and question some of our core beliefs, eventually we will find ourselves changing and continuing to grow and evolve. If the question is: why do we believe what we claim to believe? what are the answers?
For starters, why do we even want to do this? Perhaps it is because there are times in our lives when we aren't too busy with just staying alive to notice that we want something more - something that tells us there is some meaning to our lives - that our lives here on earth matter, that what we do matters. Because if NOT, then where is hope, what does it matter what we do here, how we treat ourselves and others? In the full awareness of being here on earth with no meaning to our lives, no purpose, no idea of where we came from or where we go when we die, how do we survive and thrive in the presence of the unease and fear that accompany that possibility? Who are we. And not just as collective beings - who are we individually? And what do we think and believe in the face of those questions?
Are we satisfied with easy answers, those that have been given to us by circumstance? or are we brave enough to seek out answers that feel real/authentic to each of us individually. What are our true core beliefs, examined, taken apart, traced to when they lodged in our minds, re-examined and found to be true for us or merely convenient, easy answers that make life easier. Is what you want just an easy, unexamined life - go ask John Lennon about that.
So if and when we choose to be brave enough to look honestly and in depth - do we believe something because our community, church, parents, school, tradition, friends or some author tells us it is so? Is some belief we are clinging to something that we feel we learned from a life experience? Does it feel like it's simply something obvious or somehow lodged permanently in our DNA? Is it some basic survival tool?
What I believe changes daily. I choose to live my life in the meantime and live it beautifully whenever and however I can - however, a good part of every day is spent devoted to knowing what I truly believe.
Don't do this if you are not ready or if it makes you uncomfortable. Because the journey itself can be harrowing. Letting loose of beliefs that have driven your life and kept you "safe" is in itself a frightening process. So decide first if you are ready to take this journey - it will take courage. If you decide to go forward take it one moment at a time.
Start small but honestly. Question just one thing today. And really look at it. When did you begin to feel this was true? Where did you "learn" it? under what circumstances? did the person/s who told you this was true have any vested interest in passing this "information" along to you - had they in fact ever really examined it. Or was this idea something passed down for generations, part of your culture or community? Who does this idea serve? And what is the basis for claiming it to be true? Take it apart piece by piece. And be honest. And decide if this is something YOU really believe once you have looked at it honestly. Or not. And IF not, then what? What idea makes more sense? How do you fill this gap and be truthful, open, honest and authentic. You will know you are authentic when the answer just fits - this emerging new idea/s may at first scare you - it may defy conventional wisdom, or your family, or church - but is it real for you? Make a space in your mind that is protected from every judgmental thing anyone in your life can pierce - don't care what anyone else thinks - WHAT DO YOU THINK? Bits and pieces of your own truth will begin to emerge and it may make you literally cringe with the fear of going against what you have been taught.
This is the time to be brave enough to be honest with yourself. No one needs to know what you believe - they don't get to judge it - you do. Now allow that idea/belief to settle, to grow, to develop on it's own, unhindered by fear or your past or others. Plant the seed and protect it, nurture it and keep it safe while it grows and changes. You've taken your first step to finding your authentic self. And now, if you are committed to your own personal growth, there is no stopping the process. And while it may begin in pain because the birth of a new idea is quite like the birth process - foreign at first, unknown, painful, the outcome is not sure - but the result can be something so beautiful, so precious, that your life has now changed. You have become closer to finding who you are, and in the process, why you are here and how you uniquely fit into the universe. As you find parts of this new growth of self-knowlege you will simply KNOW that for you this is the truth and you are comfortable with feeling of complete recognition that this is your truth. That is knowing. Knowing changes and grows when cultivated. KNOWING is what it's all about.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
One more hint...
A wonderful friend of mine has been telling me about a process that she is learning called "soul collages" - the idea of taking certain visual images that appeal to you or really say something special to you and combining them in a guided art form is so similar to what I blogged about in the beginning; e.g. finding visual images that touch us and feel like a genuine part of our most authentic selves. So I'll keep looking at that and let you know more! Be well!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Wisdom for Dummies
At some point in our lives most of us at least attempt to find some wisdom in what we seek and believe. There may be periods when we are too busy and distracted to do much seeking but inevitably, life will take a turn and if it's a downturn, we find we need something more than just our everyday lives - we look for meaning, reasons, who we really are, what gives us real peace and contentment. If you are reading this, are you actively looking for something? For us dummies, what is the first step?
Authenticity: the "REAL YOU" -
Being "real" and in touch with who you really are is a great starting point. But with all the influences of our family, culture, historical bias, language, religion or lack of, all the people in our lives telling us just what we should believe - how do we determine what beliefs truly reflect who WE are? Do we just believe in a set of values/beliefs because someone tells us it is so? what makes them right or for that matter right for us? How do we navigate all these belief systems we have come to take for granted and ferret out what we truly believe and who we truly are? To begin with, we have to want to. If you're satisfied with your own status quo, uninterested in challenging what you believe and want to hang on to it blindly this isn't the place for you. But then why did you happen to find this site? If you have questions, then be prepared for a wild ride because even some of our most fundamental beliefs can be pretty funny when you really look at them. If you've decided you want to take that ride, here's one place to start.
An easy test:
Every one of us has at one time or another seen or felt a truly authentic moment, an "ah" moment when we are fully at home with an idea, place or site. The feeling can be so fleeting that over time we begin to lose touch with what it is - so how do we find those authentic moments when we are most true to ourselves? Here's an easy test: Flip through a magazine or book that you like. As you turn each page slowly try to focus on just what you see and clear your mind of every other thought, just relaxing and looking. As you page through is there anything that you see that has put a smile on your face. Did you linger over any particular image? When you find that first smile stop at that page. Move the image away a little until it blurs. Look at the elements of what you see and how you feel. That feeling of connection to something you find beautiful is a glimpse of the authentic you. Now you have your first building block. If you can, make a copy of that image and begin the book of you.
This is something you like. Now begin to see if you can find what elements are in that image that delight you or intrigue you. Is it the color? A feeling of peace or joy? A memory it evokes? Does it make you want to laugh - or cry or just find that place and be there? This is one little part of who you really are. When we are caught up in what our family wants for us, our community says is "right", we still know that for us this image is special. We can always go back to the things we find on this journey and find the roots to our authentic self. Beginning to recognize how that feels (finding the pieces of ourselves) can build until we find a solid foundation to shore up our true sense of self and begin to make sense of our world.
Keep a notebook of the things you find. It can be an image, a quote, joke, song, memory or any number of limitless experiences in our life that define us. Build on that base.
Today's "self".
As we begin to find things that represent something deep inside ourselves that feels "right" we are led towards a clearer understanding of how that may contradict what and who we thought we were. If our notebook begins to look like an issue of National Geographic and we are actually living in a large city with little or no opportunity to see and feel much outside our sterile cubicle, that may be a sign of dissonance in our belief system. If we have been brought up to attend a particular religion and we find that when we attend a service there is a feeling of detachment or lack of joy, that is a place to begin looking. Begin to ask questions of yourself - what brought me here? how do I feel about it? look at individual statements and take it apart - do I really believe this? If so, why? What about that statement rings true? What does not. Remember, you wouldn't be looking at it in the first place if something hadn't seemed out of place to you. Be brutually honest with yourself and fearless.
What we need.
As human beings many would say that we need certain basic things in order to survive. Food, shelter, protection from the elements, community, love - what else? One huge need that has shown up throughout our history is the need to find some way to explain away a universe that we have come to know as infinite in both time and space. We are born into some era, some culture or place with certain defined characteristics. Some of those characteristics are borne (if you have decided you'll accept this explanation, otherwise Ithink you need another site, sorry) of evolutionary changes in our biological form. As human beings evolve to meet the requirements for survival at any stage in time we see changes in our physical structure, means of survival, coping mechanisms, community organization, family structures and corresponding belief systems. What about that concept challenges what we are taught and believe? My personal belief system at this point in time finds it difficult to really explain or understand how we fit into the vast concepts of time and space - can any one of us really explain how long ago all this began? Can we conceptualize there being a "beginning" and if we can, can we explain what might have come before? And if we decide that it's "nothing' can we explain what "nothing" means to us? Can we conceptualize the vastness of the physical universe? Just how far does the universe go out? Is there an end and again if there is, what could lie beyond? nothing again? And time looking forward - the same problem. And the big one - what happens when we die? Some of you have your "proof". For me the problem is how can anyone be so sure, how can they prove it to me? I haven't been able to truly accept any explanation. Which is not to say I don't have some questions and thoughts about what might be. But that's for later. It's enough to say those are big questions if we choose to look at them at all.
Changing:
If we decide that we believe in the evolutionary process where does that leave us today regarding our belief system? Do we evolve physically, intellectually, emotionally, or even spiritually if such a thing exists? Those are a lot of questions and it's overwhelming if you have taken the challenge.
And that's why it helps for me to go back to square one above. Begin by finding those parts of yourself that you're pretty sure of. Feel safe at least for today that this is a genuine part of who you are - not somebody else's idea of who you are or should be, but your own conviction that feels completely right. Begin to build on that.
Let me know how it goes.
My daughter saw two tigers recently at our zoo. They were laying down very close to one another in the grass in the "spooning" position. The tiger in the back had his leg wrapped around his mate's tummy, cradling her. The picture she brought home of the two of them made me feel such joy and contentment. It looked a lot like love :=) and it felt very authentic. This goes right into my notebook.
Authenticity: the "REAL YOU" -
Being "real" and in touch with who you really are is a great starting point. But with all the influences of our family, culture, historical bias, language, religion or lack of, all the people in our lives telling us just what we should believe - how do we determine what beliefs truly reflect who WE are? Do we just believe in a set of values/beliefs because someone tells us it is so? what makes them right or for that matter right for us? How do we navigate all these belief systems we have come to take for granted and ferret out what we truly believe and who we truly are? To begin with, we have to want to. If you're satisfied with your own status quo, uninterested in challenging what you believe and want to hang on to it blindly this isn't the place for you. But then why did you happen to find this site? If you have questions, then be prepared for a wild ride because even some of our most fundamental beliefs can be pretty funny when you really look at them. If you've decided you want to take that ride, here's one place to start.
An easy test:
Every one of us has at one time or another seen or felt a truly authentic moment, an "ah" moment when we are fully at home with an idea, place or site. The feeling can be so fleeting that over time we begin to lose touch with what it is - so how do we find those authentic moments when we are most true to ourselves? Here's an easy test: Flip through a magazine or book that you like. As you turn each page slowly try to focus on just what you see and clear your mind of every other thought, just relaxing and looking. As you page through is there anything that you see that has put a smile on your face. Did you linger over any particular image? When you find that first smile stop at that page. Move the image away a little until it blurs. Look at the elements of what you see and how you feel. That feeling of connection to something you find beautiful is a glimpse of the authentic you. Now you have your first building block. If you can, make a copy of that image and begin the book of you.
This is something you like. Now begin to see if you can find what elements are in that image that delight you or intrigue you. Is it the color? A feeling of peace or joy? A memory it evokes? Does it make you want to laugh - or cry or just find that place and be there? This is one little part of who you really are. When we are caught up in what our family wants for us, our community says is "right", we still know that for us this image is special. We can always go back to the things we find on this journey and find the roots to our authentic self. Beginning to recognize how that feels (finding the pieces of ourselves) can build until we find a solid foundation to shore up our true sense of self and begin to make sense of our world.
Keep a notebook of the things you find. It can be an image, a quote, joke, song, memory or any number of limitless experiences in our life that define us. Build on that base.
Today's "self".
As we begin to find things that represent something deep inside ourselves that feels "right" we are led towards a clearer understanding of how that may contradict what and who we thought we were. If our notebook begins to look like an issue of National Geographic and we are actually living in a large city with little or no opportunity to see and feel much outside our sterile cubicle, that may be a sign of dissonance in our belief system. If we have been brought up to attend a particular religion and we find that when we attend a service there is a feeling of detachment or lack of joy, that is a place to begin looking. Begin to ask questions of yourself - what brought me here? how do I feel about it? look at individual statements and take it apart - do I really believe this? If so, why? What about that statement rings true? What does not. Remember, you wouldn't be looking at it in the first place if something hadn't seemed out of place to you. Be brutually honest with yourself and fearless.
What we need.
As human beings many would say that we need certain basic things in order to survive. Food, shelter, protection from the elements, community, love - what else? One huge need that has shown up throughout our history is the need to find some way to explain away a universe that we have come to know as infinite in both time and space. We are born into some era, some culture or place with certain defined characteristics. Some of those characteristics are borne (if you have decided you'll accept this explanation, otherwise Ithink you need another site, sorry) of evolutionary changes in our biological form. As human beings evolve to meet the requirements for survival at any stage in time we see changes in our physical structure, means of survival, coping mechanisms, community organization, family structures and corresponding belief systems. What about that concept challenges what we are taught and believe? My personal belief system at this point in time finds it difficult to really explain or understand how we fit into the vast concepts of time and space - can any one of us really explain how long ago all this began? Can we conceptualize there being a "beginning" and if we can, can we explain what might have come before? And if we decide that it's "nothing' can we explain what "nothing" means to us? Can we conceptualize the vastness of the physical universe? Just how far does the universe go out? Is there an end and again if there is, what could lie beyond? nothing again? And time looking forward - the same problem. And the big one - what happens when we die? Some of you have your "proof". For me the problem is how can anyone be so sure, how can they prove it to me? I haven't been able to truly accept any explanation. Which is not to say I don't have some questions and thoughts about what might be. But that's for later. It's enough to say those are big questions if we choose to look at them at all.
Changing:
If we decide that we believe in the evolutionary process where does that leave us today regarding our belief system? Do we evolve physically, intellectually, emotionally, or even spiritually if such a thing exists? Those are a lot of questions and it's overwhelming if you have taken the challenge.
And that's why it helps for me to go back to square one above. Begin by finding those parts of yourself that you're pretty sure of. Feel safe at least for today that this is a genuine part of who you are - not somebody else's idea of who you are or should be, but your own conviction that feels completely right. Begin to build on that.
Let me know how it goes.
My daughter saw two tigers recently at our zoo. They were laying down very close to one another in the grass in the "spooning" position. The tiger in the back had his leg wrapped around his mate's tummy, cradling her. The picture she brought home of the two of them made me feel such joy and contentment. It looked a lot like love :=) and it felt very authentic. This goes right into my notebook.
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