Wisdom for Dummies

At some point in our lives most of us at least attempt to find some wisdom in what we seek and believe. There may be periods when we are too busy and distracted to do much seeking but inevitably, life will take a turn and if it's a downturn, we find we need something more than just our everyday lives - we look for meaning, reasons, who we really are, what gives us real peace and contentment. If you are reading this, are you actively looking for something? For us dummies, what is the first step?

Authenticity: the "REAL YOU" -

Being "real" and in touch with who you really are is a great starting point. But with all the influences of our family, culture, historical bias, language, religion or lack of, all the people in our lives telling us just what we should believe - how do we determine what beliefs truly reflect who WE are? Do we just believe in a set of values/beliefs because someone tells us it is so? what makes them right or for that matter right for us? How do we navigate all these belief systems we have come to take for granted and ferret out what we truly believe and who we truly are? To begin with, we have to want to. If you're satisfied with your own status quo, uninterested in challenging what you believe and want to hang on to it blindly this isn't the place for you. But then why did you happen to find this site? If you have questions, then be prepared for a wild ride because even some of our most fundamental beliefs can be pretty funny when you really look at them. If you've decided you want to take that ride, here's one place to start.

An easy test:

Every one of us has at one time or another seen or felt a truly authentic moment, an "ah" moment when we are fully at home with an idea, place or site. The feeling can be so fleeting that over time we begin to lose touch with what it is - so how do we find those authentic moments when we are most true to ourselves? Here's an easy test: Flip through a magazine or book that you like. As you turn each page slowly try to focus on just what you see and clear your mind of every other thought, just relaxing and looking. As you page through is there anything that you see that has put a smile on your face. Did you linger over any particular image? When you find that first smile stop at that page. Move the image away a little until it blurs. Look at the elements of what you see and how you feel. That feeling of connection to something you find beautiful is a glimpse of the authentic you. Now you have your first building block. If you can, make a copy of that image and begin the book of you.

This is something you like. Now begin to see if you can find what elements are in that image that delight you or intrigue you. Is it the color? A feeling of peace or joy? A memory it evokes? Does it make you want to laugh - or cry or just find that place and be there? This is one little part of who you really are. When we are caught up in what our family wants for us, our community says is "right", we still know that for us this image is special. We can always go back to the things we find on this journey and find the roots to our authentic self. Beginning to recognize how that feels (finding the pieces of ourselves) can build until we find a solid foundation to shore up our true sense of self and begin to make sense of our world.

Keep a notebook of the things you find. It can be an image, a quote, joke, song, memory or any number of limitless experiences in our life that define us. Build on that base.

Today's "self".

As we begin to find things that represent something deep inside ourselves that feels "right" we are led towards a clearer understanding of how that may contradict what and who we thought we were. If our notebook begins to look like an issue of National Geographic and we are actually living in a large city with little or no opportunity to see and feel much outside our sterile cubicle, that may be a sign of dissonance in our belief system. If we have been brought up to attend a particular religion and we find that when we attend a service there is a feeling of detachment or lack of joy, that is a place to begin looking. Begin to ask questions of yourself - what brought me here? how do I feel about it? look at individual statements and take it apart - do I really believe this? If so, why? What about that statement rings true? What does not. Remember, you wouldn't be looking at it in the first place if something hadn't seemed out of place to you. Be brutually honest with yourself and fearless.

What we need.

As human beings many would say that we need certain basic things in order to survive. Food, shelter, protection from the elements, community, love - what else? One huge need that has shown up throughout our history is the need to find some way to explain away a universe that we have come to know as infinite in both time and space. We are born into some era, some culture or place with certain defined characteristics. Some of those characteristics are borne (if you have decided you'll accept this explanation, otherwise Ithink you need another site, sorry) of evolutionary changes in our biological form. As human beings evolve to meet the requirements for survival at any stage in time we see changes in our physical structure, means of survival, coping mechanisms, community organization, family structures and corresponding belief systems. What about that concept challenges what we are taught and believe? My personal belief system at this point in time finds it difficult to really explain or understand how we fit into the vast concepts of time and space - can any one of us really explain how long ago all this began? Can we conceptualize there being a "beginning" and if we can, can we explain what might have come before? And if we decide that it's "nothing' can we explain what "nothing" means to us? Can we conceptualize the vastness of the physical universe? Just how far does the universe go out? Is there an end and again if there is, what could lie beyond? nothing again? And time looking forward - the same problem. And the big one - what happens when we die? Some of you have your "proof". For me the problem is how can anyone be so sure, how can they prove it to me? I haven't been able to truly accept any explanation. Which is not to say I don't have some questions and thoughts about what might be. But that's for later. It's enough to say those are big questions if we choose to look at them at all.

Changing:

If we decide that we believe in the evolutionary process where does that leave us today regarding our belief system? Do we evolve physically, intellectually, emotionally, or even spiritually if such a thing exists? Those are a lot of questions and it's overwhelming if you have taken the challenge.

And that's why it helps for me to go back to square one above. Begin by finding those parts of yourself that you're pretty sure of. Feel safe at least for today that this is a genuine part of who you are - not somebody else's idea of who you are or should be, but your own conviction that feels completely right. Begin to build on that.

Let me know how it goes.


My daughter saw two tigers recently at our zoo. They were laying down very close to one another in the grass in the "spooning" position. The tiger in the back had his leg wrapped around his mate's tummy, cradling her. The picture she brought home of the two of them made me feel such joy and contentment. It looked a lot like love :=) and it felt very authentic. This goes right into my notebook.