Knowing

As time goes by if we continue to explore our lives and question some of our core beliefs, eventually we will find ourselves changing and continuing to grow and evolve. If the question is: why do we believe what we claim to believe? what are the answers?

For starters, why do we even want to do this? Perhaps it is because there are times in our lives when we aren't too busy with just staying alive to notice that we want something more - something that tells us there is some meaning to our lives - that our lives here on earth matter, that what we do matters. Because if NOT, then where is hope, what does it matter what we do here, how we treat ourselves and others? In the full awareness of being here on earth with no meaning to our lives, no purpose, no idea of where we came from or where we go when we die, how do we survive and thrive in the presence of the unease and fear that accompany that possibility? Who are we. And not just as collective beings - who are we individually? And what do we think and believe in the face of those questions?

Are we satisfied with easy answers, those that have been given to us by circumstance? or are we brave enough to seek out answers that feel real/authentic to each of us individually. What are our true core beliefs, examined, taken apart, traced to when they lodged in our minds, re-examined and found to be true for us or merely convenient, easy answers that make life easier. Is what you want just an easy, unexamined life - go ask John Lennon about that.

So if and when we choose to be brave enough to look honestly and in depth - do we believe something because our community, church, parents, school, tradition, friends or some author tells us it is so? Is some belief we are clinging to something that we feel we learned from a life experience? Does it feel like it's simply something obvious or somehow lodged permanently in our DNA? Is it some basic survival tool?

What I believe changes daily. I choose to live my life in the meantime and live it beautifully whenever and however I can - however, a good part of every day is spent devoted to knowing what I truly believe.

Don't do this if you are not ready or if it makes you uncomfortable. Because the journey itself can be harrowing. Letting loose of beliefs that have driven your life and kept you "safe" is in itself a frightening process. So decide first if you are ready to take this journey - it will take courage. If you decide to go forward take it one moment at a time.

Start small but honestly. Question just one thing today. And really look at it. When did you begin to feel this was true? Where did you "learn" it? under what circumstances? did the person/s who told you this was true have any vested interest in passing this "information" along to you - had they in fact ever really examined it. Or was this idea something passed down for generations, part of your culture or community? Who does this idea serve? And what is the basis for claiming it to be true? Take it apart piece by piece. And be honest. And decide if this is something YOU really believe once you have looked at it honestly. Or not. And IF not, then what? What idea makes more sense? How do you fill this gap and be truthful, open, honest and authentic. You will know you are authentic when the answer just fits - this emerging new idea/s may at first scare you - it may defy conventional wisdom, or your family, or church - but is it real for you? Make a space in your mind that is protected from every judgmental thing anyone in your life can pierce - don't care what anyone else thinks - WHAT DO YOU THINK? Bits and pieces of your own truth will begin to emerge and it may make you literally cringe with the fear of going against what you have been taught.

This is the time to be brave enough to be honest with yourself. No one needs to know what you believe - they don't get to judge it - you do. Now allow that idea/belief to settle, to grow, to develop on it's own, unhindered by fear or your past or others. Plant the seed and protect it, nurture it and keep it safe while it grows and changes. You've taken your first step to finding your authentic self. And now, if you are committed to your own personal growth, there is no stopping the process. And while it may begin in pain because the birth of a new idea is quite like the birth process - foreign at first, unknown, painful, the outcome is not sure - but the result can be something so beautiful, so precious, that your life has now changed. You have become closer to finding who you are, and in the process, why you are here and how you uniquely fit into the universe. As you find parts of this new growth of self-knowlege you will simply KNOW that for you this is the truth and you are comfortable with feeling of complete recognition that this is your truth. That is knowing. Knowing changes and grows when cultivated. KNOWING is what it's all about.